Why Ellen Is Gellin’ Like Magellan

And speaking of ratings boosts, Ellen DeGeneres has enjoyed a nice spike in her daily viewership as well ever since her on-air breakdown last week (supposedly over her abandoned mutt, Iggy, but probs actually about her maybe-breakup with Portia de Rossi). Way to break out the waterworks, Ellen! Thanks to the televised cryfest, her preliminary numbers reflected a remarkable 10% increase overnight.

Based on those projections, we can hairdly wait to see what heart-wrenching outpouring of emotional distress she (and her producers) come up with in time for Sweeps Week. [P6]